8:04 AM

Anyone else get a taste of false Spring this week? What a tease, am I right. My kids were having literal giggle fits because they didn't have to wear coats to go to the car yesterday. I too found it utterly amusing.

Along with the amazing pseudo-spring, we also had a pretty not so amazing two weeks of sick babies. The first week, Penny was down for the count with a whatever virus that turned itself into a double ear infection, and just when we thought things were going back to normal, Harry came down with the stomach bug. Let me tell you, getting a baby to throw up in a trashcan is hard as hell.

While my kiddos are fairly healthy, they are prone to ear infections like most littles their age. This is Penny's second in three months, while both times she's had to miss an entire week of school. There is nothing, I mean nothing more painful than watching your child in pain. Especially when you know what's wrong and can't just give them the help they so desperately need. Harry has had his rounds of the sniffles, but the stomach bug, or whatever it was, was the worst he's had to deal with thus far. Over the last two weeks, I've had to take two personal days in attempts to heal my babies. Leaving them on a day they feel good kills my soul, so leaving them when I know they're feeling down, puts me in such a dark place.

[ I  G E T  I T. ] I am ridiculously lucky, blessed and count my blessings that I have two healthy children. Parents that have to watch their children battle cancer, chronic illnesses, you people are some damn super humans. This post isn't to cast some whoa is me shadow over my own emotional struggles as a working mom, and the "normal" rounds of illnesses that come with having small children, but to speak about one of the unsaid pains that comes from being a parent that works outside the home.

YOU CANT ALWAYS BE THERE. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever accept this, fully. Choosing to work outside the home comes with a lot of sacrifices. The biggest one being, you simply cannot be there all the time. You're going to get texts about them getting black eyes, having a fever, and your mom blood pressure is going to go nuts. You sit at your desk on your toes because you worry about leaving, what your boss will think, your coworkers will think of you, and in rolls the mom guilt.

I have to say when I started out on this parenting journey, that was one thing that never really crossed my mind. That there were going to be times I simply couldn't be there do to my job. As a parent, it's our job to be there, which made the entire scenario an after thought. I have to say, working and caring for sick kids, going back and forth to doctor appointments and loads of that pink crap, I've embraced the very real thought that I am not a super human. We cannot do this successfully alone, and having a support system I can count on means more than I could place value behind.

There's a dark side to being a working mom, you have to accept that at times, you'll have to choose between yourself, your image and your responsibilities. It will never stop eating at you, and there's always a level of guilt to be had, but you absolutely have to keep going. You have to keep chugging along, because there's only so much you can actually control.

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