CHANGE

10:30 PM



   Anyone else afraid, no, terrified of change? Sometimes I feel so alone watching others around me root as aspects of their lives morph from one week to another. I, however, have always been a being of structure. I plan everything. I'm always one step ahead of the game (or I try to be), so when my schedule is disrupted, I can get pretty antsy. So imagine my feelings when my husband told me back in November, that he was looking for a new job.

    I had known for a while that he was unhappy with his current career, but we'd just had Harry and things were still every which way. Not much else was said until March, when he finally landed an interview. I could see the excitement in his eyes, and here I was playing the role of the evil, unsupportive wife because I was scared of change. The interview went well and he got the job. He kept telling me over and over that he felt this was the right move, that something was pulling him that way. Still, I thought of my own fears, and made the entire transition a negative one.

    Joshua had been at his previous job for 6 years. It was all I'd known when it comes to raising kids and running our married life. It was his first serious "big boy" job and the safety net has always felt nice and snug. That is, until now. Don't get me wrong, the new job is better in every and all aspects, but there's that looming uncertainty that is hanging over me like a tornado cloud. Why do I feel this way? Is my own subconscious jealous he's found what he believes to be his "place," and I still feel like I'm trying to find myself?

    It's been a little over a month since he started his new job and he's the happiest I've seen him in a long time. He comes home after a hard day of work in a good mood. He's happy to tell me stories about his day, and more so, he's excited for what's to come. I think we should all strive to find that level of happiness and it's something I'm going to try to work on myself.

    Not that I owe anyone an explanation, but that's where I've been lately, where "we've" been. Trying to find a new groove and really trying to figure out life. I have some life updates coming over the next week or so and I cannot wait to share them.

Have you or your significant other ever opted for a career change? Were you afraid? Hesitant? 

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