1:35 PM

photo courtesy of Hannah Boreman Photography
photo also proof of how desperately Joshua and I need to get pictures taken of just the two of us

     Ah, parenting. That job that people don't really consider to be a job, but in reality, it's the hardest freaking job ever and there's no training for it! Yep, if you're a mom, a dad, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

     February of 2014, Not only did I become a mom, my husband, became a dad. We had no idea what we were doing. No idea we'd applied for the hardest job there is. We'd barely been together two years and in one second it seemed our lives went from 3 AM bonfire parties to in bed by 8 PM. The parenting switch had indeed been flipped. Whether we were ready or not.

     When I look back at it all, I'm sure the only reason I got through any of it was because of Josh. My incredibly stubborn, phenomenally caring husband. There's way too many times I take advantage of him. The cooking, the cleaning. I KNOW not all men help their wives as much as I get, but I am totally guilty of seeing past all the help and nit picking on the stupid things. I mean, don't we all?

Six years. Its been six years since that first day, and he's still surprising me, still understanding me. At the very most vulnerable part of my life, he did not look down upon me. Instead he was there, repeating assurance over and over again, even when I refused to hear it. Yesterday, I shared over on my Instagram, the very moment I'm talking about. Black and white of course, to hide the blotchy skin, tears, and incredibly chapped lips. Though I was terrified, out of it, and running on pure adrenaline, I was overwhelmed with support. I thought to myself, THIS is love. THIS is why people do this. I'm reminded every time I look at that photo, and I never want to forget that moment where I truly felt the very worst and best I ever have in my life.

     It's true parenting is a full time job, but so is being a wife, a husband. They are separate from mom and dad, and too many times we neglect those parts of ourselves. A few months ago, I discovered the lovely, spunky, and sassy, Jordan Page, of, and was reminded of that very obvious issue. The job I was neglecting the most, was being a wife to my husband. It seems like it wouldn't be as hard as it is. To make time for each other, to carve out those moments of your week to be extra attentive to one another, but when one kid is constipated and the other has green ooze pouring out their nose, and you realized you're out of coffee, that gets tossed on the back burner.

     I want 2018 to be the year I figure it all out. I want to make it a priority to find balance in all these areas of my life and do it so well that others are jealous. I have zero shame in admitting that. I want to strengthen my marriage and make my husband know how much I do (yeah, Josh, you see that) appreciate all the long hours at work, the extra side job. Those need to be the things that matter. Will I succeed in being the wife I know I am capable of? Not the naggy one that is depicted in every sitcom ever? Fingers crossed. For me. For my children. For my sanity. I know exactly who I need to be, I just need to remind myself she's already inside of me.

What do you hope to figure out in 2018? 

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